I’m tired – it’s amazing how just living life can wear someone down. One second you’re laughing and thinking that everything’s perfect and the next, you have to force a smile so people will think you’re okay and normal. (Most people can’t handle true emotional venting – they want masks.)
Things are not okay. And no matter how much booze you guzzle or how much you copiously smoke some herb, you can’t drown out the noise because it only gets louder that way.
Feminists get exhausted. We put up a good fight, but we need to rest, and the sword needs rinsing. And sometimes we’ll complain about how uncomfortable it is to sleep in our armour.
Despite Hollywood depictions of hardcore feminists who are always strong and confrontational, the real world is a different animal – it has rabies. Once bitten. Twice shy. Start foaming.
It’s important as a feminist to choose your battles wisely so that maybe you’ll have enough strength left to win the war.
I really dislike it when some people overtly test your feminist beliefs by purposely uttering misogynist bullshit just so they can elicit a strong reaction from you. It almost seems like a waste of time trying to educate someone who’ll only continue to ridicule you for petty reasons.
Standing up is great, but you have to realize when you’re facing the barrel of a gun. Is what you’re saying falling on deaf ears? If so, you need to explore various ways of getting your message across – maybe action would drive home the point.
Feminists must also learn to become better listeners. We can proclaim who we are, what we stand for, and why society must change, but if we don’t show respect and hear other people out (even when their opinions differ greatly from ours), nobody will take us seriously. And nobody will respect us. Plus how can you grow if you never challenge and/or update your own beliefs?
So I’ve been depressed for months. And the recent death of my father has really hit me hard. I’ve tried many different avenues to improve my mental state – some put me in positions where I compromised my integrity and others literally put me in compromising positions.
But I’m a believer that things will eventually look up. And I am looking up.
Still gonna glock it like it’s hot.