Floss a Backbone, Gargle with Feminist Mouthwash & Don’t Just Brush off Gender Inequality

Of the many university courses I took years ago, my psychology of women class is one of the handful that really stood out. It wasn’t just about memorizing facts and studying to get good marks on exams. After hearing what the professor had to say in lectures and after reading my textbook, I found myself getting worked up over things I once blindly accepted.

Like much of the general public, I had thought that feminism was a bad word. The stereotype of a butch man-hating woman who was hairy, pushy, and obnoxious had sadly been held by me, my friends, parents, and co-workers. We had succumb to the media’s depiction of feminism.

Being a feminist didn’t seem positive at all. Who were these women? What kind of chip did they have on their shoulder that they felt the need to fight all the time? And anyone who called herself a feminist was bound to be ridiculed and challenged (much like labeling yourself a vegetarian, as I discussed in a previous blog post). Why stigmatize yourself?

Then I learned that feminism wasn’t always about putting women ahead for the sake of being women – it was about making a positive difference in the world for women, yes, but also for men. It was about taking women seriously as intellectual individuals and not just as sex symbols. It was about standing up for women to earn equal pay in the workforce. It was about smashing the glass ceiling so society could enjoy some fresh air.

The English author, literary critic, journalist, and travel writer, Cicely Isabel Fairfield (aka Rebecca West) was quoted as saying, “I myself have never been able to find out what feminism is; I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute.”

Yet somehow feminism’s name got tainted in black tar. It became the butt of many sitcom jokes. In fact, feminism got such a bad rap that even women came to associate it with all things negative.

One day I wanted to do an informal experiment to see just how skewed people’s understanding of feminism really was. I asked a bunch of people in my classes (who weren’t in my psychology of women class), “Are you a feminist?” To my surprise (and disappointment), every single person I asked (female or male) had a strong, adverse reaction to the question. They all immediately exclaimed, “No!” A few made looks of disgust as though I had insulted them.

My next question: “Do you believe that women who have the same expertise, education, and experience as men should get paid less for doing the same job?” All of them said no and that they should earn the same amount because that’s what was fair.

When I told them that their answer was feminist, I think it threw them for a loop. They clearly didn’t want to be labeled as a feminist, but they held feminist beliefs. It was obvious now that the problem with feminism wasn’t that people didn’t believe in its tenets, rather its skewed definition.

My theory for why feminism got such a harsh reputation: people were intimidated by the thought of women challenging the status quo, asking for more (which actually was just what they deserved), becoming independent, and working their way up to attain positions of power.

The established patriarchy was under attack! How could they lessen the blow and discount the protests from this growing movement? Ridicule it – make cheap shots at it every chance you get. Turn it into a caricature. And it worked. Even women with university education were refusing to call themselves feminists!

Let’s spread the word – feminism isn’t a bad word. It’s empowering, hopeful, and our future. Get rid of ill-conceived stereotypes that prevent us (women and men) from moving forward.

Anyone can be a feminist. Even men. (Being a feminist doesn’t mean you’re feminine.) You can come from any walk of life. You can be feisty, introverted, pretty, ugly, young, or old. Feminism doesn’t discriminate. People against feminism discriminate.

But you have to remember that feminists are human, too. Some are hypocrites. They’re not perfect. Being a feminist doesn’t mean that you’ll always do or say the right thing when it comes down to the wire. Being a feminist doesn’t make you a good person. Being a feminist makes you want to strive to be a better person. Whether or not you reach your goal is another story.

Are you ready to hop on board?

Shooting Blanks: Even Feminists Get Tired. Surprise, Surprise!

I’m tired – it’s amazing how just living life can wear someone down. One second you’re laughing and thinking that everything’s perfect and the next, you have to force a smile so people will think you’re okay and normal. (Most people can’t handle true emotional venting – they want masks.)

Things are not okay. And no matter how much booze you guzzle or how much you copiously smoke some herb, you can’t drown out the noise because it only gets louder that way.

Feminists get exhausted. We put up a good fight, but we need to rest, and the sword needs rinsing. And sometimes we’ll complain about how uncomfortable it is to sleep in our armour.

Despite Hollywood depictions of hardcore feminists who are always strong and confrontational, the real world is a different animal – it has rabies. Once bitten. Twice shy. Start foaming.

It’s important as a feminist to choose your battles wisely so that maybe you’ll have enough strength left to win the war.

I really dislike it when some people overtly test your feminist beliefs by purposely uttering misogynist bullshit just so they can elicit a strong reaction from you. It almost seems like a waste of time trying to educate someone who’ll only continue to ridicule you for petty reasons.

Standing up is great, but you have to realize when you’re facing the barrel of a gun. Is what you’re saying falling on deaf ears? If so, you need to explore various ways of getting your message across – maybe action would drive home the point.

Feminists must also learn to become better listeners. We can proclaim who we are, what we stand for, and why society must change, but if we don’t show respect and hear other people out (even when their opinions differ greatly from ours), nobody will take us seriously. And nobody will respect us. Plus how can you grow if you never challenge and/or update your own beliefs?

So I’ve been depressed for months. And the recent death of my father has really hit me hard. I’ve tried many different avenues to improve my mental state – some put me in positions where I compromised my integrity and others literally put me in compromising positions.

But I’m a believer that things will eventually look up. And I am looking up.

Still gonna glock it like it’s hot.

Everything great eventually comes to an end. But this is just the beginning…

The fruition of this feminist blog has been a long time coming. It’s now ready to be plucked from its branch and shared.

First and foremost, my goal is to stimulate healthy discourse and to motivate people to challenge the status quo. Second, I hope to connect the dots between ideologies of female empowerment and practical applications of feminist theory.  In an allergy-free nutshell, I want to build upon my current beliefs and to become inspired by others.

Everybody’s welcome here.

Inspired by the women’s movement? Know of some great books by feminist women and feminist men? You’ve got my undivided attention. Come join the hot debate on gender and inequality.

Together, we will define what is feminism.

As a woman living in what James Brown called ‘a man’s world’, I know how easy it is to let the chauvinist bullshit we digest on a daily basis eat away at our core like a corrosive chemical. That’s what happens when we internalize too much and don’t try hard enough to find solutions.

In this feminist blog, I’ll take a firm stance and voice my concerns about the traditionally-accepted patriarchy. Along the way, I’ll share proactive ways to counter negative influences on women. After all, nobody likes a chronic complainer who sits around all day pointing their cranky cane at everything left, right, and center.

I will tell it like I see it – no Little Miss Manners here. While I’m not one to run my mouth with profanity like diarrhea, on occasion, you will stumble across some swear words. If that offends you, clearly you’re reading the wrong blog.

I also won’t play you for a fool – my opinion isn’t the be-all, end-all. No pooping plastic here, Barbie. I trip over my words like I sometimes do my feet. But hopefully this personal (yet public) exploration into the realms of feminism will help me (and others) define what it means to be a modern woman dealing with modern dilemmas.

Let’s give them something to glock about!

But before I pull the trigger of my e-glock and target reasons why the fabric of society could use a good washing, I feel it necessary to clearly outline what feminism is and what it isn’t. Seems like there is such a strong and widespread misunderstanding that it turns people off right from the get-go.

According to Dictionary.com:

Feminism

/ˈfɛməˌnɪzəm/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [fem–uh-niz-uhm] – noun

1.	the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.

2.	an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women.

3.	feminine character.

Now, let’s be clear. There are many different sects of feminism just like how there are many different denominations for religion. Lumping everything under one umbrella is like squeezing that 14th clown into the Smart car – it stinks!

In my feminist blog, this is not the type of feminism I promote:

• Man-hating
• Choosing the woman over the man in every scenario

Finally, are all feminists lesbians with short gelled hair? No, but some are. Anyone (female, male, lesbian, gay, bi-curious, asexual, transgendered, hermaphrodite, Yankee fan, glue sniffer, etc.) can be proud to call themselves a feminist. It’s more a way of thinking than it is about appearances. And as we both know all too well, appearances are definitely deceiving.

With all of the above said, we can continue.

Welcome, dear reader! I hope you follow me as I put my personal stamp and sarcasm on social norms, pop culture, and everything else we take for granted. This is my feminist lens, and I hope it helps you see clearly.

Okay, I’m ready to glock!