Near…Far…Wherever Flaky Characters Are

We’ve all seen James Cameron’s Titanic with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio. I remember seeing it in the theater and loving it. The one scene near the end where the fireworks go off behind Jack as Rose is lowered in one of the emergency boats still gives me goosebumps for some reason.

Did you ever wish there was an alternate ending? Did you think that Rose’s character was really flaky? Do you think that you’ve seen all the Titanic parodies already?

Here’s a funny one I found on YouTube by LisaNova. Made me laugh – had to share it with you! It makes fun of the part where Jack freezes his skinny tush off while Rose lies on the raft.

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Katy Perry on Sesame Street: A Dish Best Served ‘Hot n Cold’

Katy PerryAs far as I know, Katy Perry has never said that she’s a feminist. And if she has said so, then she’d be a major hypocrite with music videos like California Gurls where she’s hypersexualized and infantilized with Snoop Dogg filling his usual role as outlandish pimp.

She literally squirts whipped cream from cans attached to her, well, cans! And the make-believe world she’s frolicking around in is pretty much Candy Land.

Despite this, I can’t help but love Katy Perry. She’s not the best singer, she certainly isn’t the best dresser, and she wears a heck of a lot of war paint, but she’s got spunk in spades.

Far too many women take themselves seriously, so it’s nice to see someone having fun. Plus she gives Cheese Whiz a run for its money with get-ups like a carousel dress, an egg costume, and a really cheap-looking blue wig. She’s definitely not afraid to be cheesy!

So when I heard she was slammed for her appearance on Sesame Street, I had to watch her performance of Hot n Cold for myself to see if people were just being prudes or if she looked like she was working the street.

Bring on the cheese!

Elmo’s not wearing any clothes.

Okay, so her dress is cut really low and her hemline is short. But it’s not that outrageous. (Maybe I’ve become desensitized after having read rubbishy magazines.)

Take a look at any Barbie doll at the toy store. You’ll see something similar, and you don’t hear many parents squawking nearly as much. Barbie is just as sexualized as Katy Perry on Sesame Street, so why aren’t these same people also complaining about Barbie, a toy that’s generally accepted by the mainstream?

Also check out what The Little Mermaid is wearing. That’s even more revealing, yet parents don’t bat an eye and go out to rent or buy it so their kids can be entertained. The cartoon character doesn’t get bashed, yet Katy Perry (a real woman) gets called out.

I respect parents’ wishes to not want to expose their toddler to cleavage so soon. (After all, they do have many awkward teenage years to go through to figure that out, right?) But to be so outraged about this outfit and have it pulled from the children’s television show is a little harsh. It wasn’t like she was wearing Swarovski pasties and a mesh g-string with Tickle Me Elmo.

It’s also interesting that people are badmouthing just Katy Perry for her attire. Sure, she had the final say as to if she would wear something, but if you’re going to lash out at her, what about the lack of judgment of the producer, the stylist, the film crew, and all the other people who edit the look and feel of each show? Someone could’ve brought up their concern, too. But they thought it was okay.

What did you think when you saw the music video? Were you offended or did you think it was child’s play?

What a Douche!

Funny Soap CartoonYou’re a smart woman who’s been loyal to the same company for several years. You’ve worked your ass off and given it your best shot. But the pay stinks like a rotting carcass.

So you make your way to the boss’ office, mentally preparing a convincing argument as to why you deserve a promotion. Directly asking for what you want shows initiative. What else should you do to get ahead in today’s tough job market? Douche, apparently.

Thanks to Brooke (a reader who left me a comment and link in my previous post), I found out about a terrible Summer’s Eve ad published in the October issue of Women’s Day magazine. Larry Knowles from AolNews did a great job of dissecting the idiocy of the ad, but I’m going to weigh in, too.

Seriously, this ad is so backwards, the ‘genius’ marketing team probably still thinks the denim-on-denim look is still trendy. Wake up! It’s 2010! I mean, haven’t you watched the movie, Pleasantville? Progressive thinking works, people!

The ad features a large photo of a confident smiling woman in a business suit with her arms crossed. You can take her seriously. And the heading in large green letters says: “Confidence at Work: How to Ask for a Raise”. Oh, goody – we’re going to find out some great tips for career advancement, right? Wrong. Dead wrong.

The first oh-so-practical tip for “getting your mind in the right place” is to “start with your usual routine and all the things you do to feel your best, including showering with Summer’s Eve Feminine Wash or throwing a packet of Summer’s Eve Feminine Cleansing Cloths into your bag for a quick freshness pick-me-up during the day.”

We Interrupt You Now for a Major WTF Moment

According to the ad, when asking for a raise, my mind should be on my cooch. Hmm. Double hmm. Shouldn’t I be concentrating on reasons why I deserve the job? Unless I’m a porn star or I work for some lowlifes who promote women based on booty-call performance, I don’t think my vagina will be a discussion topic.

Sure, lots of ad campaigns magnify fears and insecurities, but I think it’s wrong to suggest that women should worry about whether or not their feminine odour is offensive when they have their mind set on asking for a raise. Some marketing pigs only care about turning their wallets into a stuffed turkey with gravy.

Maybe Summer’s Eve should team up with Charmin. I can see it now: “Confidence at Work: How to Break the Glass Ceiling”. The practical tip would be to “start the day off right with a feminine wash. And don’t forget to wipe your bottom well after Number 2 using soft Charmin toilet paper because you already deal with enough shit at work.”

Shame on Summer’s Eve for not having the common sense to put the brakes on this ad before it went public. And shame on Women’s Day magazine for giving the middle finger to its readers.

Man, French Connection, I’ve Gotta Hand It to Ya

Here’s a photo from French Connection’s latest campaign. They always seem to have over-the-top hilarious promo photos of men being stereotypically manly.

Pictures say a thousand words, so I’m going to let this one do all the talking. It’s all kinds of awesome!

And here are some older French Connection ads:

I think French Connection does a great job at making fun of gender stereotypes – totally love it when marketing teams exaggerate the ridiculousness of our culture.

Trespassers William – “Lie in the Sound”

Music gets me through everything. This is my latest obsession, and yeah, it’s an old song that speaks to me.

When Will Things Start Looking up for Me?

My life is falling to pieces. Personal and work life are horrible. I’m a strong person, but I’m really unsure if I’m strong enough to endure what I’m about to. Seems like ever since last year, I’ve been hammered down repeated with something new to stress me out.

We all worry about our inadequacies and what the future holds. For me, the future holds tough times ahead because Matty, my best friend (who also happens to be my ex-boyfriend, former roommate, and former co-worker), is leaving the country and will be living there for an indefinite period of time. We did so many things together – had fun and feuds!

He’s leaving because he doesn’t know what to make of his life, and he really hated the way things were going for him. It also doesn’t help that he has a significant amount of debt to pay off. He’ll be moving in with his parents and will try to find a new job (since today was his last day at work).

I want the best for him, but it’s hard for me because especially during this time when I’m still trying to cope with the death of my father and work is going pretty shitty, I feel like I really need him for social support. Two people have never been closer.

The last time I’ll get to see Matty is tomorrow. After that, it’ll never be the same again. Even the most exciting books you cherish come to an end.

I feel so alone.

Abandoned.

Weak.

Bitter.

Angry.

I’m certain that I’m going to bear a cross in the days ahead. But one thing I keep trying to remind myself of is that while everybody may let you down, you cannot let yourself down. Life is hard, but you have to put up with the bullshit if you want to make something of yourself.

Dear readers, I fully intend to write a proper blog post. It’s just that I’m going through a very difficult time right now. Don’t lose faith in me. I’ll return soon!

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